Fall Semester 2011
When first stepping into the brand new life of being a college kid, I was petrified. I knew absolutely no one. I hadn't visited the campus more than three times, so the layout was fairly fresh to me. I had no idea what to expect... it seemed like just yesterday that I was trading crayons with my best friend in Kindergarten, and now I was supposed to be a grown up?
I can still remember the night before I left for home, packing my tiny little Lumina full to bursting with clothes and knicknacks, fully believing that this was the end of my life... I was a gonner. I didn't make friends with ease, like many of the other kids. I was painfully shy and almost antisocial even.
Freshmen orientation was a blur of whirlwind activity... and the most uncomfortable time of my life. No person ever likes being forced out of their comfort zone... even when they fully understand that it's in their best wishes.
So there I was, friendless, awkward Jerilee... standing a few paces away from the crowd, when God blessed me with a miracle. A miracle named Krista. We hit it off instantly, talking about everything from Popsicles to our favorite literature. Having her there really made it much easier to open up and make myself vulnerable. With a friend backing you up, it's much more likely that you will make more friends.
So, with the help of Krista's support, I made a few more friends (some of which I would go on to be romantically involved with). As soon as orientation was thrown at me, it ended. Just when I started having fun too!
Classes were another big obstacle for me to overcome. I suppose I was at a slight advantage over some of the other kids... I was used to having such a small class, which led to more intimate conversation (and conversation that you had to contribute more to). I was not however used to such a workload... the amounts of homework that I got in the first few weeks was staggering, and on top of band rehearsals too! I was also used to being "top dog" in high school, where I could get good grades without having to honestly work too hard to get them. Things came easy for me back then. In college, the work caught up to me... I was now on the same level, if not a little bit lagging, behind the intellect I must have.
I would confess in a second that the most challenging class for me was Drawing 1. At that point in my life, I was sure that art was what was calling to me... I wanted to be an artist for the rest of my life. I realized, through the trials and tribulations and many tearstained pieces of sketch paper that I was just not cut out to be an artist. As much as it hurt, I picked up the pieces and moved on to my next calling... psychology.
Who knows if I will stick with psychology? I might just have another epiphany and decide that I want to be an accountant or something crazy like that. One thing that I am sure of though is that I am ready to make a wonderful life for myself and challenge myself intellectually. Through classes at Bethany, I can achieve my dreams.
I can still remember the night before I left for home, packing my tiny little Lumina full to bursting with clothes and knicknacks, fully believing that this was the end of my life... I was a gonner. I didn't make friends with ease, like many of the other kids. I was painfully shy and almost antisocial even.
Freshmen orientation was a blur of whirlwind activity... and the most uncomfortable time of my life. No person ever likes being forced out of their comfort zone... even when they fully understand that it's in their best wishes.
So there I was, friendless, awkward Jerilee... standing a few paces away from the crowd, when God blessed me with a miracle. A miracle named Krista. We hit it off instantly, talking about everything from Popsicles to our favorite literature. Having her there really made it much easier to open up and make myself vulnerable. With a friend backing you up, it's much more likely that you will make more friends.
So, with the help of Krista's support, I made a few more friends (some of which I would go on to be romantically involved with). As soon as orientation was thrown at me, it ended. Just when I started having fun too!
Classes were another big obstacle for me to overcome. I suppose I was at a slight advantage over some of the other kids... I was used to having such a small class, which led to more intimate conversation (and conversation that you had to contribute more to). I was not however used to such a workload... the amounts of homework that I got in the first few weeks was staggering, and on top of band rehearsals too! I was also used to being "top dog" in high school, where I could get good grades without having to honestly work too hard to get them. Things came easy for me back then. In college, the work caught up to me... I was now on the same level, if not a little bit lagging, behind the intellect I must have.
I would confess in a second that the most challenging class for me was Drawing 1. At that point in my life, I was sure that art was what was calling to me... I wanted to be an artist for the rest of my life. I realized, through the trials and tribulations and many tearstained pieces of sketch paper that I was just not cut out to be an artist. As much as it hurt, I picked up the pieces and moved on to my next calling... psychology.
Who knows if I will stick with psychology? I might just have another epiphany and decide that I want to be an accountant or something crazy like that. One thing that I am sure of though is that I am ready to make a wonderful life for myself and challenge myself intellectually. Through classes at Bethany, I can achieve my dreams.
Spring Semester 2012
This semester was much easier for me - I now had a solid group of friends to rely on, both from the Honors experience as well as my new-found sorority sisters. I was enrolled in a variety of different classes, so I got to get my feet wet in a few different fields, feel around in some areas completely different than my projected plan of being a Criminal Psychologist.
One thing that I have been struggling with are severe doubts about my ability to be able to help others with psychological problems when I feel that I am not the most stable person mentally, either. I have come to realize there will be an enormous amount of pressure on me to not only listen to disturbed thought processes of criminals who have committed heinous crimes, but I am expected to be able to take all of this pressure without cracking. While this is an area that intrigues me to no end, I feel that I am struggling with the reality of the situation. After putting things in perspective, this might not be the wisest choice for me career-wise.
On the other hand, I am more than willing to ride it out. In the meantime, I will keep my eyes peeled for other things that strike me as intriguing, something that I would be able to do for the rest of my working life, and more importantly be able to ENJOY and do well. We will see what all becomes of this, but I have the sneaking suspicion that I will not be able to stick with this choice. Back to the drawing board for me!
As this semester, and school year, come to an abrupt halt, I will need to do some serious soul-searching in my quest for a career to commit to. I certainly hope that the "aha" moment doesn't come too late...
One thing that I have been struggling with are severe doubts about my ability to be able to help others with psychological problems when I feel that I am not the most stable person mentally, either. I have come to realize there will be an enormous amount of pressure on me to not only listen to disturbed thought processes of criminals who have committed heinous crimes, but I am expected to be able to take all of this pressure without cracking. While this is an area that intrigues me to no end, I feel that I am struggling with the reality of the situation. After putting things in perspective, this might not be the wisest choice for me career-wise.
On the other hand, I am more than willing to ride it out. In the meantime, I will keep my eyes peeled for other things that strike me as intriguing, something that I would be able to do for the rest of my working life, and more importantly be able to ENJOY and do well. We will see what all becomes of this, but I have the sneaking suspicion that I will not be able to stick with this choice. Back to the drawing board for me!
As this semester, and school year, come to an abrupt halt, I will need to do some serious soul-searching in my quest for a career to commit to. I certainly hope that the "aha" moment doesn't come too late...
Fall 2012
Over the summer, I thought critically about my career path and what would be the best option for me. I knew that I wouldn't be able to pursue my first option of an artist, and the criminal psychologist idea is off the table now. When looking through my options, it struck me - I was meant to be an English teacher! Not only have I had nothing but positive experiences with English teachers in the past, but I love reading and writing! I was fully ready to commit myself to the idea of teaching English. While I am slightly nervous at the aspect of me being behind where I need to be in order to graduate on time (because of my lack of decision), I am fully confident about my abilities to teach the youth of my time to appreciate the thing that all humans have in common - language.
While I found the workload to be immensely daunting (taking World Literature, British Literature, & Rhetoric at the same time equated to lots of reading!), I knew that the English department was precisely where I was supposed to be. Now, entering my spring semester, I am undoubtedly excited at all of the opportunities that lie ahead.
While I found the workload to be immensely daunting (taking World Literature, British Literature, & Rhetoric at the same time equated to lots of reading!), I knew that the English department was precisely where I was supposed to be. Now, entering my spring semester, I am undoubtedly excited at all of the opportunities that lie ahead.